Nick Jordan

Many years ago, the Goon Show did a thing called ‘The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler of Bexhill-On-Sea’, in which two of the characters, Minnie and Henry Crun, and talking about elephants. There’s a voice-over whch says, ‘Listeners who are listening will realise that Minnie and Henry are talking rubbish. There are no elephants in Sussex. They’re only found in Kent.’ Well, now one has been. How fantastic is that?

Hands-free car phones are ‘as dangerous as drink-driving’

Using a hands-free kit while at the wheel is as dangerous as drink driving, according to a study of volunteers in a driving simulator. The researchers conclude that all mobile phone use while driving should be banned.

This certainly doesn’t come as much of a surprise to me. One thing in favour of riding a motorcycle, as I do, is that there are far fewer distractions. I’m sure that’s a major reason why bikers seem to be the cause of fewer accidents.

UK imports over 100,000 AK-47 rifles. Fantastic! Where’s mine?

I’ve just written my first Firefox extension. It shows how many comments are awaiting moderation on this site, right there in the status bar of the browser. I feel quite chuffed with myself – way beyond the real magnitude of the achievement.

Goodbye, Top of the Pops. I’m genuinely sad to see it go.

The Canonization of St. Bill is a very nice little article which acts as a good antidote to all the ridiculous things the popular media has been saying recently about Bill Gates. If you’re one of those people who believe that if it wasn’t for him we wouldn’t have the modern PC, I strongly suggest that you read the article and then do some research of your own. I certainly remember cheap home computers long before Microsoft came along, with their aggressive and illegal business practices and crappy software.

Which is more important, people’s health or money? The answer, at least if you’re a drug manufacturer, seems to be the latter. I know that the issue isn’t as simple as it’s presented as being in the Guardian’s article and I know that these drugs cost a great deal to develop but, even so, I can’t help feeling that there’s something terribly wrong here. And no, I don’t have all the answers – if only I did.

I use those liquid tab things for my washing, but I’ve found that I end up with the plastic bit, which is supposed to dissolve or something, melted all over the clothes. This means that I’ve had to resort to cutting the tab open and pouring the liquid into the little drawer in the washing machine.

I’ve had some soap nuts on order for a while, good little green person that I am, but they haven’t turned up yet. If only I could get them in the local market.

Last night I watched The Singing Estate on Channel 5 and thoroughly enjoyed it. If you didn’t see it, the gist is this: take one classical conductor, dump him in a rough estate in Oxford and ask him to find forty people to form a choir capable of performing at the Albert Hall after just ten weeks’ rehearsal.

The wonderful thing was to see how many people turned up to audition and how delighted the lucky few were when told they’d made it. Not at all what you’d expect from people who some might simply dismiss. It just shows what ordinary people can and will do if they have the opportunity. One of those programmes that really restores your faith in humanity.

I’ve been trying out Google Browser Sync, a new Firefox extension, and I’m quite impressed. It allows you to synchronise bookmarks, cookies, passwords and history between Firefox on different machines, and is even useful as a means of taking a backup if you only use one machine.

It does add to the loading time of the browser, but it’s bearable, especially if, like me, you tend to leave it running for long periods.

I went out yesterday and got snacks and beer, so I’m all ready for the big event. Yes, it’s the British F1 Grand Prix today and I fully intend to put my feet up in front of the TV and enjoy it. Bliss!

I’m sick of hearing about the World Cup already and it hasn’t even started yet. All I can hope is that England are knocked out as early as possible so that we can dispense with most of the hysteria. For goodness’ sake, people, it’s only a game. If I had my way I’d ban it. Well, maybe not but I’d certainly cut down on the coverage, which would allow more time for a proper sport, like MotoGP.

The only good thing about it all is that the streets will be deserted when ‘important’ matches are on, leaving me and those like me with more more space to wander about in and (hopefully) enjoy the nice weather.