Nick Jordan

Yesterday I met up with my friend Paul at St. Pancras station for a day out. We decided to go to Barnet, where we both grew up, and take a look around. It had been years since I’d taken the tube to High Barnet, although not a lot had changed, or been back to my old haunts at all. We wandered up the High Street and stopped for lunch in the Black Horse pub before heading down Bells Hill, past our old homes, to our infant and junior school at Whitings Hill. Many of the old buildings are still there, including the swimming pool where I learnt to swim, and which had its cover put on while I was a pupil there. They’re in the process of knocking the place down and putting up swanky new buildings, which are clearly desperately needed and look very nice. The playing field is pretty much gone, replaced by a sea of mud and construction vehicles.

Having got all nostalgic, we wandered back towards the tube station, pausing for a quick look around Barnet Museum, which brought back a whole raft of old memories. Taking the tube back to London Bridge station, we had a very pleasant walk along the South Bank in the sunshine, crossed the Millennium Bridge and ambled around the City until we found ourselves at Old Street station, from where we caught the tube back to Kings Cross, where we parted company.

I got home very tired and with soreish feet but feeling pretty good. Plenty of exercise, great weather and good company saw to that.

Yesterday, accompanied by my friend Jenni who provided very helpful advice, I went to look at some flats. Originally I’d really wanted a separate bedroom but in the end I settled for a very nice and quite spacious studio flat as the location and the price were very good. Yes, there were some very beautiful places but they were in very inconvenient locations. Anyway, I handed over my deposit and this morning I dropped off all the paperwork that the letting agents require. I pick up the keys on July 4th, and I have to say I’m really looking forward to getting moved in and settled there.

This morning I went to see my GP again. She’s signed me off work for two more weeks, which I really feel will be beneficial. I then went off for my initial assessment with a psychiatrist. I arrived a bit early but fortunately he was free to see me pretty much straight away. He seemed like a really nice guy and someone who genuinely wants to help. After a long chat and a great deal of note taking, he told me that I’m definitely depressed, which is not exactly a surprise, and that I probably have a mood disorder, which is a fancy way of saying that my depression is long-term and needs treatment. He’ll be meeting with his team on Monday and discussing my case, but said that he feels I probably need some form of psychotherapy and possibly also CBT.

So I’m back at home with a couple of weeks to try and fill. I don’t think that’s going to be too hard. I have flat hunting to do, for a start.

I had another appointment with my GP this morning. I came away with a prescription for more of the same anti-depressants, advice to take a week off work (which I’m doing) and a promise of a referral to a psychiatrist. True to her word, later in the day I had a call from the local mental unit and, after a few questions to ascertain my level of need, I have an appointment with the psychiatrist next Friday. So, in the meantime I shall try to enjoy my week off and not get too down. I need to get out and about and see people in order to keep my mood from crashing, so that’s what I intend to try and do.

‘Public wellbeing’: the new approach to mental health. The government’s New Horizons strategy is the next bold step for mental health policy. What is changing, and will politics allow it to work?

Interesting. I shall be keeping an eye on this to see how it all works out.

Just a quick update. I had an appointment with my GP last night. I filled in a questionnaire which indicates (surprise!) that I’m still depressed. She’s given me a list of conselling services and is going to refer me to one, which I’m really hoping will help. She’s also told me to keep taking the anti-depressants. So, basically, no real news. Things just continue as before.

I’ve been experiencing some mild side-effects from the tablets: queasiness and shaking hands. Fortunately they’ve subsided quite a bit from the initial peak and I’m pretty hopeful that they’ll more or less disappear in a short while. My determination to beat this is very strong right now, despite a bit of a bad weekend, thanks in no small part to the assistance of Jenni, who continues to be an amazing friend, and Jenny, whose patience seems almost unlimited.