I really dislike littering in all its many and varied forms, but the form of it that really gets my goat at the moment is newspapers, particularly the ever-increasing number of free ones, left on trains. You want to sit down in a crowded tube carriage, there’s a free seat, but it’s got a paper on it. You’re not a litterer yourself so simply throwing it on the floor feels wrong so you try to balance it against the window. Inevitably, it won’t stay there and falls over your shoulder into your lap or down between your back and the seat from where it’s almost impossible to remove it without elbowing your fellow passengers in the face.

I’m not sure what the answer to this problem is. Perhaps, on seeing someone leaving without the paper they brought onto the train, everyone else in the carriage should refuse to let them out until they return to their seat and get it. Perhaps someone should roll said paper up and give the miscreant a good whack over the head with it first. However it’s done, we need to put pressure on these anti-social gits to take their litter with them and put it in the bin. Preferably the recycling one.

All suggestions gratefully received.