Nick Jordan

I’ve just witnessed some silly cow on a TV cookery programme wittering on about how wonderful it was to see the vegetables being grown on the hillsides while she was in India. Where the fuck did she expect them to be growing? If you live in a hilly area and you want to grow vegetables, guess where you do it?

OK, rant over.

I’ve just got back from Brighton wher I had a very good time, with the exception of eating at Alfresco last night, which was easily one of the worst dining experiences I’ve ever had. The restaurant was noisy and cold and my pizza, when it eventually arrived, managed to be both cold and burnt. If a restaurant can’t get cheese on toast right there really is no hope for it.

On the plus side, the hotel I stayed in was nice enough and wandering around Brighton itself was as pleasurable as ever, so I can’t complain too much.

So, it’s the Queen’s 80th birthday today, huh? I’d let you know exactly what I think of her and the rest of the royal family, but it would be a criminal offence for me to do so. Free speech? Not in this country.

It seems that evil geniuses Saatchi and Saatchi have created a band for hire. This just makes me want to opt out of society altogether. I have an urge to fence off a large area of land, stockpile food and weapons, and just ignore the rest of the world. I guess that’s not terribly practical, though, so I shall have to content myself with doing my best to avoid such corporate bullshit.

Yesterday I decided to have a wander along the South Bank, which turned out to be a really good idea. It was very enjoyable wandering along, stopping for a beer and poking around Borough Market and I came home with some fantastic bread, beer, Manx kippers (which I’ll be having for breakfast this morning) and a blueberry pie that looks delicious. I should go down there more often, I really should.

According to the BBC, tomorrow is Ecological Debt Day for the UK. This is shameful. Absolutely shameful. Some of the statistics the article quotes are interesting - for instance, in 2004 we exported 1,500 tonnes of fresh potatoes to Germany and imported exactly the same quantity back from them. How ludicrous is that?

If ever there was a need for a new word, this is it.

The other day I discovered that Men and Motors has been removed from Freeview and will now only be available on subscription-based digital TV services, none of which I particularly want or can afford. It’s a shame as there were one or two programmes on there, in particular Build or Bust, that I rather enjoyed. Still, it’s only TV and I can certainly live without it.

It’s so nice not to have to do anything today. I’ve been looking forward to the Easter break for a while and I’m really enjoying it now that it’s here. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job but, given the choice, I’d still rather do as I please. Who wouldn’t?

I got back yesterday from a couple of days on the Isle of Man visiting my dad. My brother and his wife were over there as well, so it was a bit of a family get-together, and very enjoyable it was, too. I’m off work today, which means that I have a very short working week. That’s good except that I shall have to cram in a whole bunch of stuff over the next three days. I’m sure it’ll be worth it but I may be spending next Friday lying in a heap, recovering.